Back On Track ... My advice, don’t take meds ... change your environment instead.
As you know, I quit my job after being bitched out by my Mormon manager over some stupid bullshit relating to a $2.00 charge: A young girl wanted to charge $2 worth of yarn to her father’s account, I punched it in and a red flag came up saying ACCOUNT ON HOLD. I asked the manager why. He rudely said, without even looking at me, "Her dad needs to pay his bill". I told her I was very sorry then my devilish mind decided to go see what one of the highest ranked Mormon customer accounts looked like. Wow!!! That guy owed much more! And, he hadn’t paid his account for the same amount of time as the girl’s “ACCOUNT ON HOLD”. I brought this up with my manager and he went into a rage, closing accounts and rambling about “People need to pay their bills, blah, blah, blah".
I hate to listen to people bitch and there weren’t any customers, so I just went to sit in my car and tried to relax. My manager came out and starts to get all irate on me. He said, "Why do you have to be sitting around all the time, I’m sick of you acting like this and “we” all agree you are not doing your job!" That part REALLY pissed me off. If you have something to say, say it to me, not engage in backtalk with all the others. At that point, I clocked out, said "I quit" and threw away those damn pills. I quickly started feeling much better and, I hate to rub it in, but, I've enjoyed my time off from work. Sure I feel guilty as hell not helping with the family income but hubby's been awesome. They actually asked me to come back to the hardware store, but I said no. I have plans other than the glamorous job of cashiering. I love animals and I’m actually going to start my own pet sitting business. Whew, I know I’m supposed to be all hardcore metal and what not, but I have feelings too. Swill, Art and I tried to make it to Vegas for Slayer recently. We had tickets and backstage passes but the "schedule" cards just weren’t in our favor, and my advice is, NEVER go to Vegas when the cards don’t agree!
Next, I’ll be shooting for the Isis, and or V.A.S.T. shows in Salt Lake City and visit some family there too. Other than that, I’m looking ahead to spring when it’s time to open my cocoon. Hailz ... Nikki Obstacles of Life ... This Mistress has been dealing with some of those obstacles life tends to throw at you from time to time. Where do I start? I guess it’s the little panic attacks that have been creeping up on me here and there.
I've always been the type of person who only got a little nervous 4-wheeling thru rocks and mud, but recently, I've totally freaked out about things like being caught in a traffic jamb in the middle of the desert – and that’s just not right. My body would start to tremble, sometimes out of control, and I knew I needed to get on some help ... but kept putting it off. A few weeks ago, Rob went to Heber city to go elk hunting and left me here to watch the kids. I decided we'd have some fun, pizza and a movie. While in the theatre, I started to feel very uneasy, frantically waiting for the show to end. Finally, we got home and I plopped down on the couch to watch one of my favorite shows "IRON CHEF". Home and work have always been my safe zones. Well, on this occasion, the walls closed in on me fast, my eye sight went blank. I quickly rushed outside to escape the claustrophobia I was feeling. I had to pace around for about an hour before I finally started to feel calm. That experience scared the bah-jesus out of me. I knew right then to get to the freakin’ doctor for some help.
They prescribed Lexapro if anyone knows what that is, but it didn’t seem to help. Actually seemed to make me worse, so I stopped. I went back to the doctor and he said it would make me worse before it would make me better (oh, isn’t that nice to know). Then he doubled the dose! Um can you say, I was a basket case loser at this point ... but I had to try my best to act normal. Now to the worse part. I know most of you guys are avid bikers, athletes, and take good care of your bodies ... Well, I started to abuse the crap out mine by drinking way too much. I couldn’t sleep unless I was drunk and I got to the point that I would have the shakes if I didn’t have a drink. It only happened 3 times, and just tiny shakes, but if anyone saw “Leaving Las Vegas” (one of my favorite movies) you get the idea.
That was the biggest slap in the face I’d ever had. I was not going to allow this to happen to me. It took a day or two, but I called my sister and said “I need Help!” Both our parents were alcoholics, especially my mother, who was taken away when I was just 4 years old because of her drinking. I was scared to death I too would be taken away. My dad’s wife and Rob (who had no clue I was in such bad shape) took me to the doctor. That went well and I was given some Librium to cure the shakes. Man does that stuff knock your dick in the dirt. I could barely move that night, and if I did, the whole bed would tremor because my body could barely support my weight. I’ve halved my dosage since and am taking Campral to wean my brain off the alcohol. And you know what? I’m doing really, really well! Sometimes I get the urge, but quitting smoking was much harder! All of you give me your blessings that I can do this. I’m just hoping I can have a beer or two at special occasions. There was one other thing that recently happened. Since the initial meds basically knocked me out, I had to miss two days of work.
I’m too responsible to want to take the time off but I didn’t dare tell them the truth about what I was going through. When I returned, my manager cussed me up and down, so I quit right then and there ... after 8 years at that place. I’ll miss the regulars and my paychecks (although they always seemed too small). But what I’ll really miss the most are (*tear in eye*) the dogs that would come to the store with their owners. I looked forward to seeing them, sharing my fleas with them and French-kissing them ... LOL, Just kidding! I love all my dog friends. So guess what I’m going to do? I’m going to be a pet sitter. I’m so stoked and people have been telling me to do it for years. While the owners are out of town, I’ll be feeding, watering, playing and loving their pets in addition to watering plants, picking up mail, etc. Dogs, cats, horses, reptiles, rodents, I do it all. I have to get the ball rolling for the upcoming holidays and crank out some flyers and business cards. And maybe a glamorous job at a gas station on the side. So anyway, I think that gets me up to date, only that Slayer is coming in January, which I’m going to of course! S L A Y E R! "Satan-Laughs-As-You-Eternally-Rot". Now how evil is that? Raaaaaaa. Love ya all ... Mistress Nikki, Slavery to Metal
Survived Another One! ...
Vegas really is the best place to see shows and I just love the House of Blues – Hell, small venue and three bars, what more can you ask for? This time I avoided getting smashed and tackled in the mosh pit by the big men. I hung out at the bar (got smashed there instead) and stood my ground, but ended up paying for all my own drinks - what’s up guys??? I had to work the morning of the show and then drive out the Sin City. I was late and missed part of Arch Enemy, but oh well. As long as I got to see Lamb of God and Opeth, I was happy as hell. Met Randy, the singer of Lamb of God, yet again and introduced him to my family. He’s so nice. My boy took our picture and said later he thought Randy would look all scraggly and mangey, but instead looked kinda “normal”.
Then when security was scanning me for drugs and weapons, he said, “I don’t know why they’re checking you like that, there’s no clothes” referring to my short skirt and tank top. After the concert, a man from London started talking to me, saying he came all the way from the UK to see the show. I was nice to him, as I can be to some people (lol). He was walking with me in the casino, and I guess he finally got the balls up to as if I was a HOOKER. Holy Shit! My hand almost met his forehead if you know what I mean. Damn limey bastard.
A woman dressed up sexy, alone, must be a hooker in Vegas baby! I was so glad to get to my room. One time in Salt Lake City, after partying with Cannibal Corpse in their tour bus, my girlfriend and I had to walk to our car alone. Three guys started tofollow us in the empty parking lot and, man, I couldn’t find my keys fast enough! Creeps. After all that, had a great suite at the Tropicana, let my boys ride the rollercoaster at New York, New York and beat them up with Gatorade bottles on the way home (they always win). Till next time. Nikki, the Metal Chicky. Oh My God ...
Sorry I didn't get my sorry ass around here sooner, but PsychoCross Art and Swill kicked my ass. Who says you only meet creeps on the internet? Well ... Slayer was awesome. Meeting Kerry King, talking to Dave Lombardo and watching Tom Araya’s son running around the green room was simply cool.
Said “Sup” to Lamb of God’s front man, Randy, which seems to be a ritual for me at every one of their gigs. He’s a bad ass dude, but nice as hell.
You can hear songs from their new album over at MySpace, although I’m sorry to say I’m disliking the new “redneck” tune, so just disregard that one if you please. Next up ... I’m counting down the days till Gigantour. I’m catching the show at the House of Blues in Las Vegas and it’s so going to kill. Lamb of God (yet again, can’t seem to get enough), Opeth (great band from Sweden) and Megadeth (old school Thrash Metal) will be headlining.
Opeth In case you didn’t know, Dave Mustaine was a founding member of Metallica but he got to be such a drunken ass pain in the keaster, they bagged him ... or at least that’s how the story goes. I think he bagged them to be honest. The choice for was either for general admission or seating. Screw seating, I’ll just hang onto a security guard’s arm so I don’t get smeared like I did at the Slayer gig in '94. The only thing left for this girl to do is figure out what to wear. OMG!
Swill, bless his dark heart, wanted me to put together a list of some of my favorite songs. That’s a hard call, but I came up with a few titles that I’d love to share with you metal fanatics. #1 Black Label - Lamb of God
Morbid Angel See you in Vegas, House of Blues, September 12 th, 4:30 sharp - of course I’ll be scanning the casino for musicians a few hours before. Be Evil Mistress Nikki 6/6/06 Because the number 666 plays such a prominent role in metal genre bands and songs, fans have proclaimed it an official holiday. 6-6-06 will be observed in different ways by “all that is evil” – for example, a remake of the movie “The Omen” debuts in theaters and Slayer kicks off their “Unholy Alliance Tour” on this “National Slayer Day”. In addition to the number 666, you have the horned hand gesture, or Corna (no, not Luisa Corna), which is synonymous with evil.
Something else synonymous with evil Just don’t get it confused with “I love you” in sign language or the Texas A & M hand gesture. Why is “Metal” music so satanic you might ask? Well, I’m not exactly sure. I guess it goes hand in hand with its harsh, "against the grain" foundation. Check out this killer link to help explain what true Death/Black Metal entails and you’ll see why Morbid Angel (one of my all time favorite bands) writes songs about “Falling from Grace” "God of Emptiness' & "Gateways to Annihilation.” In all factuality, being “Metal” doesn’t mean you’re Satanist and before all you superstitious scaredy cats and bible thumpers get too worked up, just remember the date is really 6/6/06, which is NOT truly the number of the beast.
Did I mention that fear of the number 666 is "Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia"? I’m off to Las Vegas yet again this weekend, more stories and pics to follow. Be Evil Mistress Nikki |
