It's time to set the record straight on a few things ... 1.Single Speeds ...
Just get some freaking gears! Want to impress anyone? Win a race with gears like the real fast people. Yeah I know Travis Brown wins ‘cross races on a single speed. Guess what? You are not Travis Brown. Travis gets the exemption not you. Also if you live where there are mountains don’t even ride a single speed off road. Next time I see one of you goons pushing your bike up a hill you are getting the double barrel snot rocket as I RIDE by your walking ass on my cross bike. 2.Le Tour ... If der Kaiser Roll had gotten off his ass in the winter and been in shape for the Classics not only would he have won more than a few of those, he would have been fit in July maybe lived up to his potential. But no, he spends the winter doing X with East German hookers, listening to bad Euro techno (not that there is good techno), and backing over bike racks in his Porsche so he can be fresh for “The Tour”.
Look at stupid George. He gets lucky, gets in a break with a bunch of other non climbers/GC contenders and wins a mountain stage now he is a “Tour” contender? Not likely. Race the whole season you pampered delusional pussies. Even super douche Bernard Hinault went out and won Roubaix just so he could feel justified in saying he hated it and would never do it again. 3.Texas ... Say your Mom is a crack whore. Not your fault but still a pretty shitty hand to be dealt. You basically have two options here. A.) Become a worthless waste of skin like your Mom. Or B). Admit (to yourself only) that Mom is a whore and vow never to be like her.
Loud mouth Texas guy (that is not in Texas) has chosen option B. He knows Texas is a festering boil that needs to be lanced. He has seen first hand how utterly worthless Texas is yet he feels an obligation or guilt associated with leaving. Like the son of a crack whore he thinks that if he says how great it is that maybe someday it really will be and he can stop feeling the shame. Until then he will go on endlessly about how great Texas/Mom is mostly to try and convince himself. Give “Texas Guy” some credit, he is at least smart enough to leave his mouth breathing brethren behind and put as much distance between him and the Lone Star state as possible. Texas sucks.
Rock On! |
